Ooh, its been suggested that I've been “crushed” in an ongoing dispute which has recently made the jump from living room to the blogosphere . My ego can't let this go without rebuttal. My esteemed sister-in-law believes Belle & Sebastian to be a band of unrivaled intensity, lyrical composition and musical integrity. While I can appreciate her stance, and feel the same about several bands that I listen to, I remain compelled to disagree. Before I go much further I'll have to resort to the, now tired, tool of imaginary conversation. This being an average exchange between Ms. Drobny and I when the issue arises.
Kristina: Colin, Why aren't Belle and Sebastian your favorite band yet? I've brought them up in conversation at least five times now.
Colin: Eh, They just don't do it for me.
Kristina:Shaking her head How could they not do it for you, they're awesome!
Colin: Although that may be true to you, I find the mix of depressed lyrics paired with paradoxically upbeat music to send conflicting messages and to then to bury some sort of homo erotic/high school angst message beneath it all is too much. All of the content they try to express in a single stanza only succeeds in diluting and/or convoluting any message they may be trying to express; not that I'm positive there is a message .
Kristina: Nonplussed Yeah, but, Belle and Sebastian are awesome!
Colin: Perhaps, but one persons awesome is another's stagnant and unfocused.
Kristina: Feeling thoughtful I see what you are saying, but I'm worried that you may not be taking into consideration that Belle and Sebastian are awesome!
Colin: Begins to drool and beat his chest with his knuckles. Groggety gruk, bleach, blach bluuhh.
Okay, now that we have that out of the way, we should probably start by looking at what she believes to be the reasons I dislike Belle and Sebastian, systematically rebut them, explain the true reasons as to why I don't like them, and then go on and examine exactly why this entire response is superfluous.
So, as promised, Kristina believes my reasons for not liking Belle & Sebastian to be:
1.Their music is too upbeat to be tragic.
2.Where's the irony and pain?
3.Their lyrics are not very complex and are too strange.
4.Musically and emotionally, they just can't compare to Damien Rice.
5.Even if I (Colin) did find their music interesting and awesome, I can't like the band because of
the history involved with me not liking the band.
The Truth:
1.Somewhat correct, I find the combination of happy-go-lucky music and tragic lyrics to be somewhat off-putting. Like seeing someone barfing with joy, it just leaves you feeling a little weird inside, as though some aspect of your perception is somehow off. More on that below.
2.Believe it or not (and the recurring reference to Damien Rice would make one lean toward the latter)I don't listen to music for pure irony or pain, but if that is what I'm looking for, I'd rather it be presented up front, purely, and without peripheral junk to dilute it. If you are looking to convey an emotion then don't mire it in convoluted lyrics that require three long pages of analysis, do it simply, plainly. Or, if the point is the story, then tell the story, plainly, no need to drag the sexuality of ball players into it (altho, when you refer to them as ball players I begin to question Piazza's orientation.) Talk of your accidental love like it is.
3.Perhaps it isn't that Belle and Sebastian see life through many lenses, each more melodramatic than the previous, maybe they (he?) are (is?) just crappy writers who can't express a concise concept. See also “you just have to work at determining what it is you should be feeling”, if its too much work, then it isn't well done. Imho.
4.To compare Damien Rice to Belle and Sebastian is a bad idea. I don't know if I started this, but I'm going to have to end it here. They play different types of music, and approach it with wholly different perspectives. To cite their shared instrumentalization as proof of musical equality is to say that the Democrats and Republicans are the same because they are all rich (mostly) white guys in suits (Go Obama!).
5.This is a good point, and one I should probably elaborate on. The first few times this conversation was had I was earnest and interested, but after that I decided that A) I do not like B&S. B) I do not like green eggs and ham C) No amount of persuading is going to change my musical tastes. D) I do not like them sam I am. E) I wasn't about to kill someone's enthusiasm with my own opinionated nature. F) It is kinda funny to have the same conversation over and over again.
Now that we have that out of the way, I will outline exactly what I dislike about them. First and foremost, I can't stand homeboy's voice, it is obnoxious in a very whiney and powerless way.(to be read in a sing-songy voice) “Something crappy happened to me, but I've decided there is nothing I can do about it but sit here and sing.... poorly.” I'm not really the type to say this sort of thing, but this occasion begs it. Dude, grow a pair, seriously.
I believe I covered their poor lyrics fairly well above, but let it be said again, I don't think they are very good.
I don't find their music to be at all engaging, perhaps I'm just a sucker for a good hook, but these guys do nothing for me. I have been told by someone who's musical opinion I respect very much that they are quite adept musically. If that is the case (I wonder if he may be swayed slightly by his wife's opinion) then it won't be the first time I didn't like “great” music, see also Frank Zappa.
As far a the quantity of whack-ass-shit produced by Kerouac (it's something of a low blow, comparing B&S to my favorite author), it truly is unfair to judge an artist by their most whack ass shit, you can only judge an artist by their body of work. Picasso and Dali have both done their share of whack ass shit, but it's their entire body of work that make them shine. shit—everyone does wack ass shit, but we judge them by their overall quality rather than that of their most whack. With that standard in place, B&S still comes in far below Kerouac on the poetry front (and his poetry is awful).
My next bit of evidence comes from a source so highly esteemed that I believe it seals the deal. Behold, a verbatim conversation from the film High Fidelity (if you haven't seen it, do it. now. before you finish reading this)
Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that?
Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian...
Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass.
As this is slowly becoming little more than a rant, I'm going to end it with this. I can't be sold a band I don't like. I will never listen to Celine Dion no matter how much my friends want me to. As far as personal preference goes I respect Kristina's decision, and I'm sure her reasons for liking them are equally as valid as mine for not. Perhaps next time we will discuss her refusal to give the Dead Kennedy's a listen...
So, in in the name of full disclosure I suppose I should mention that I'm posting this from under Mrs. Drobny-Bonds roof, which leads me to fear some sort of retaliation; a meatspace denial of service attack, like refusing me coffee in the morning....
